July 11, 2011


Filed under: life — Tags: , , , — yalandarose @ 1:51 pm

My husband’s biggest fantasies involved me awakening him with sexy underwear. Well this morning, he got his wish.

“Whose bra is this?” He heard me ask angrily as he was blinded by the nylon and straps of the brassiere I threw in his face.

“What?” he responded tossing the bra aside as if he was being stripped teased.

“I said whose bra is this?” I demanded again grabbing the brassiere he tossed aside, dangling the cups in his face like a used jockstrap.

“Yours?” He responded not sure if he was answering a trick question.

“It’s not mine because I don’t wear this size, and I don’t like this style!”

“Well, I don’t know. Maybe it’s for your mom.” He suggested as he was dozing back off dismissing me in his dreams.

I was infuriated. Even after being confronted with evidence of adultery, my husband never attempted to get out of bed to save his marriage!

“Why would my mom’s bra be in my underwear drawer… and if it is, you’re a sicko!”

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you.” My husband said as he rolled over on his stomach, turning his back to me.

Realizing I was late for work, I continued getting dressed with the underwear and clothes I recognized, making a mental note to search every drawer – mine and his – for more underwear and clothes I didn’t.

During the commute, while I was consumed with thoughts of adultery, child custody, visitation and divorce, I was trying to remember when my husband would have the opportunity to defile our bed and become incensed at the nerve of the homewrecker he slept with to toss her underwear in my drawer. Was she trying to hide it in haste as he slipped her out of the back door? Or was she deliberately marking her territory confident I would leave once found? None of the scenarios were making sense as I thought we had a pretty solid marriage. I replayed my husband’s nonchalant responses in my mind. “Yours?” he responded earlier. With a 30-minute commute ahead of me, I had time to logically contemplate his answers. Why would I even wear a homely bra like that to begin with, especially a size bigger?

I knew why. I was sitting at the red light, when the light bulb went off in my mind. I wore a bigger bra while I was nursing our daughter. It looks like I may have some explaining to do.

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