January 18, 2012

Defrauded? Suits Me!

Filed under: Christianity, Faith, God's Love, religion — Tags: , , , — yalandarose @ 4:25 pm

…Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be defrauded? 1 Cor. 6:7

The simple answer:  Who wants to be vulnerable, had, taken advantage of, walked on, stepped on, etc. etc. etc. especially in a society where we have rights and we judicially, litigiously and at times unmercifully enforce them.

The hard to swallow answer: It’s not about you.

I saw this verse as I was contemplating a lawsuit against my ex-husband. He initiated a quickie divorce against me so he could marry a woman I didn’t even know existed until after they were married.

The front door of our former home had become a revolving door when I moved out and she moved in less than a year later.

Concurring with the simple answer, I filed a lawsuit before she finished unpacking.

It seemed as if I had everything to gain – a house and half the assets. However, during our separation, I decided to quit focusing on my broken marriage, and start focusing on God’s Kingdom and His Righteousness first. With God’s Kingdom – an entire kingdom – at the forefront of my mind, suddenly a 2500sqft. house seemed quaint.

I also realized that if my ex-husband was willing to stoop that low to keep the house, he has already received his reward in full. (Reference Luke 6:24)

I started evaluating the real reason I filed the lawsuit in the first place. I wanted revenge, what was owed to me. But…I had to remind myself of my new commitment. Instead of seeking revenge, I committed myself to seeking God’s Kingdom and His Righteousness first. Vengeance is not mine, it, us, the universe, and everything in it is His. It’s not about me. It wasn’t my battle to fight. (Reference 1 Samuel 17:47) As a matter of fact, God Reminds us Whose battle it really is more than once in the Bible.

In fact, instead of me giving my ex-husband a piece of my mind, God Instructed, “The LORD Will Fight for you while you keep silent.” Exodus 14:14. It’s not about me at all.

The contents of my legal petition should have floored my ex-husband as I was when I learned that a man who couldn’t pay child support for his biological child was now providing room and board for a child that wasn’t even his. Yep, his stepson was now living in my daughter’s old room.

I couldn’t get over how unfair God seemed that my ex-husband and his new family seemed so happy and comfortable while my daughter and I were financially struggling. But, God Reminded me, “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. 8 For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. (Gal. 6: 7-8.)

Then, I realized that they won’t be comfortable in that spacious house for long as God Said, “He who returns evil for good, evil will not depart from his house. Proverbs 17:13

And as far as my less than pleasant financial situation is concerned, “Better is a poor man who walks in his integrity than he who is perverse inspeech and is a fool. Proverbs 19:1

Besides, no matter how dire our situation gets, “The LORD Will Not Allow the [b]righteous to hunger…” Proverbs 10:3.

I was requesting spousal support, child support, and half of the assets. I was not going to tolerate a deadbeat dad. However, I realized God Loathes deadbeat parents as well. “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” 1 Cor. 6:7

That verse made me realize that my ex-husband wasn’t merely robbing his child, he was robbing God. What may floor you is that he is a minister.

Another reason I started having second thoughts about the lawsuit is because again I was reminded that “…whoever takes away what is yours, do not demand it back.” Luke 6:30

Then I remembered my new commitment, “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33

Only by the Grace of God, my daughter and I aren’t starving or naked! (reference Matthew 6:25-31)

While I was focusing on a house I can see (within a short commute), I was reminded that by faith I should be focusing on what I can’t see and what God Has In Store for me.  “while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.  Hebrews 4:18

Going through the emotional and financial toil of a lawsuit would cause me to sin in worry and would be taking time away from my life and my daughter. (reference Matthew 6:27) The details of the lawsuit were also causing me to be anxious about my situation when I should have invested that time praying. (Reference Philippians 4:6)

With all the worrying and anxiety of a lawsuit, I came across the verse, “for God is not a God of confusion but of peace…1 Corinthians 14:33.

I decided to refer to the Bible to see how God Really Wanted me to deal with my ex-husband. Referencing Matthew 18:15-17, if I couldn’t resolve the matter in the church, treat the person like a tax collector. I am personally not acquainted with any tax collectors, and am no longer acquainted with my ex-husband either. In other words, don’t try to reason with the insane. Just accept the fact they are spiritually (and sometimes mentally) ill.

I was also told to “bless those who curse you, pray for those who revile or mistreat you.” Luke 6:28

I know this sounds crazy but the reason I have been able to do this is because even though my ex-husband took the house and neglected to support his child, hey, at least he didn’t try to kill me!  I was merely duped out of a house and money. However, even while Stephen was being murdered by a group of people who clearly didn’t know God, he prayed “…Lord, do not hold this sin against them!” Acts 7:60

My ex-husband is oblivious to the fact that he has done anything wrong, and  those crucifying Jesus were ignorant to the fact that they were crucifying the actual Son of God and for that Jesus said “…Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34) before Jesus inherited the Kingdom.

Bible verses came from Biblegateway.com NASB version

July 11, 2011


Filed under: life — Tags: , , , — yalandarose @ 1:51 pm

My husband’s biggest fantasies involved me awakening him with sexy underwear. Well this morning, he got his wish.

“Whose bra is this?” He heard me ask angrily as he was blinded by the nylon and straps of the brassiere I threw in his face.

“What?” he responded tossing the bra aside as if he was being stripped teased.

“I said whose bra is this?” I demanded again grabbing the brassiere he tossed aside, dangling the cups in his face like a used jockstrap.

“Yours?” He responded not sure if he was answering a trick question.

“It’s not mine because I don’t wear this size, and I don’t like this style!”

“Well, I don’t know. Maybe it’s for your mom.” He suggested as he was dozing back off dismissing me in his dreams.

I was infuriated. Even after being confronted with evidence of adultery, my husband never attempted to get out of bed to save his marriage!

“Why would my mom’s bra be in my underwear drawer… and if it is, you’re a sicko!”

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you.” My husband said as he rolled over on his stomach, turning his back to me.

Realizing I was late for work, I continued getting dressed with the underwear and clothes I recognized, making a mental note to search every drawer – mine and his – for more underwear and clothes I didn’t.

During the commute, while I was consumed with thoughts of adultery, child custody, visitation and divorce, I was trying to remember when my husband would have the opportunity to defile our bed and become incensed at the nerve of the homewrecker he slept with to toss her underwear in my drawer. Was she trying to hide it in haste as he slipped her out of the back door? Or was she deliberately marking her territory confident I would leave once found? None of the scenarios were making sense as I thought we had a pretty solid marriage. I replayed my husband’s nonchalant responses in my mind. “Yours?” he responded earlier. With a 30-minute commute ahead of me, I had time to logically contemplate his answers. Why would I even wear a homely bra like that to begin with, especially a size bigger?

I knew why. I was sitting at the red light, when the light bulb went off in my mind. I wore a bigger bra while I was nursing our daughter. It looks like I may have some explaining to do.

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